


to love someone

by heartburns



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Heavy Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, max is in this for 2 seconds bc i love her, my poor boy will deserves so much better, this is kind of a character study ig so i’ll tag it, this is sad im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 02:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14010273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartburns/pseuds/heartburns
Summary: Will Byers knows pain. But heartbreak is so much worse.





	to love someone

**Author's Note:**

> slight warning for a very brief usage of homophobic slurs. enjoy!

Will Byers knows pain.

Skinned knees on sidewalks. Bruises from bullies pushing him over on the playground. A broken finger from when he slammed it in the door of the back porch in fourth grade.

Shouting matches at three in the morning between his parents. His dad, drinking until he passes out and disappearing for days on end. His mom, sobbing on her bedroom floor with a shattered picture frame in hand. Jonathan promising him it would all be okay but crying quietly in the middle of the kitchen when he thinks Will is sleeping.

Whispers at school. Zombie boy or faggot or fairy or freak. Those were their favorite words. Being a unknown entity in Hawkins, a strange thing that everyone liked to look at but nobody wanted to touch. An outcast in center spotlight.

Getting taken by the demogorgan. Being possessed by the Mind Flayer. Stuck in the Upside Down, cold and alone and dying. Losing his mind, losing himself. Thoughts all-consuming with tunnels and monsters and memories of things he’s done but didn’t want to do. Killing those men at Hawkins Lab. Being responsible for Bob’s death, the only thing that made his mother happy. His fault.

But through it all, there’s a constant. A saving grace, a tethered force.

Mike, carefully applying a Band-Aid over the broken skin, tongue sticking out. Mike, always there to pick him back up from the asphalt. Mike, visiting him in the emergency room and ensuring he was the first to sign his cast.

Mike, being the only one he tells about the fighting. Mike, letting him sleep over on those rough nights, even if he had to sneak him in to the house. Mike, hugging him close as he weeps into his chest.

Mike, utterly unafraid of being his friend. Mike, getting himself into trouble when he hears people calling Will names. Mike, sticking up for him regardless of circumstance.

Mike, searching endlessly for him after he goes missing. Mike, soft and promising him they’d go crazy together. Mike, falling asleep next to him in hospital chairs because the thought of leaving his side is unbearable.

Will, mindlessly scribbling sketches of Mike’s face in his science notebook when he’s bored in class. Will, staying up late and thinking relentlessly about all the times Mike takes his hand or wraps his arm around his shoulder, about how each tiny touch sets him aflame. Will, staring at Mike’s lips for a little too long and considering how nice they would feel on his own. Will, being fifteen and finally accepting that he is in love with his best friend and there is nothing he can do about it.

But there is something else.

There’s Eleven.

She’s the one who dances with Mike at the Snowball in eighth grade. She’s the one who kisses Mike in school hallways. She’s the one who drifts off against the crook of Mike’s neck at the party’s sleepovers. She’s the one who Mike picks up at eight and takes to the ice cream parlor for dates every Friday night. She’s the one Mike asks to prom and homecoming and formals. She’s the one Mike is following to college. She’s the one Mike will marry someday.

Max knows. She’s the only one who knows, the only one who understands. When it gets to be too much sometimes, he calls her over to his house. Her fiery hair engulfs him, and she rubs circles into his back, soothing and loving and everything wonderful that she is to him. The day he tells her that he’s in love with Mike, she just nods. “Yeah, I know.”

“You know?” He remembers asking.

Max’s pink lips curve into one of her small smiles. “You’re kidding, right, Byers? Your fucking heart eyes bulge out of your coconut head whenever he walks into a room.”

He laughs a little at that. It sounds a bit sad, but it’s genuine.

“I know it’s not in the way you want,” she says to him, “but he does love you back. He’d do anything for you, Will. You’ve gotta know that.”

And that’s a comfort. Mike is his best friend. He always has been, always will be. It’s the way Mike is, and Will knows that even if Will’s feelings for him came to light, they would still remain so. That would have to be enough.

Sometimes, though, Will feels like it’s never enough. Usually, it’s the small things. Mike and El holding hands easily under the cafeteria table. Mike and El sharing casual kisses and blushing lightly afterwards. Watching Mike slinging his arm around El’s tiny shoulders hits him the hardest, because Will knows exactly how it feels.

And so he watches. And he loves and loves and loves from afar, in that secret but beautiful way. It’s a tragedy, really, the whole thing. But his love for Mike Wheeler never goes away, because he’s Will Byers, a magnet to suffering; naturally, it only grows.

And so he loves a boy who can never feel the same way. Sometimes, he thinks he may be a masochist, dedicated to his own self-destruction. He concludes that to love someone who loves someone else hurts more than the scars or tears or trauma ever did.

Yes, Will Byers knows pain. But heartbreak is so much worse.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at 4am so sorry if it sucks, i’m in a state of delusion. i’ve had this idea in my head for a while and just had to get it down. i’ve never written anything for stranger things, much less byler, so leave me some feedback in the comments please! i love u all thanks for reading <3


End file.
